tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11667739228526011772024-03-14T00:42:52.059-07:00Just Let Yourself Be SpecialDa Natorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12192516325402230720noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1166773922852601177.post-54062201048341175732010-12-17T09:59:00.000-08:002010-12-17T11:52:34.808-08:00Just in time for the holidays...<div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Stressed out? Life too busy? Afraid you may murder your own children? </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">No time to meditate, can't get to sleep, even soothing music gets on your last frayed nerve?</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsAyvRjyGyuRf_4T4WFzjXo4-klU1Pj4Un5UlrClUoBWfklgKMNXGcoQeUfMsP7X5fbX2iAM3vCpU6ELYB5dbf5QtDA9cb1elMvU1lg-UugXrw1gQey_i19CBCCgq_2uToHLJoocDLg6p8/s1600/loud1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsAyvRjyGyuRf_4T4WFzjXo4-klU1Pj4Un5UlrClUoBWfklgKMNXGcoQeUfMsP7X5fbX2iAM3vCpU6ELYB5dbf5QtDA9cb1elMvU1lg-UugXrw1gQey_i19CBCCgq_2uToHLJoocDLg6p8/s400/loud1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Need to Get Away? </i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Now, you can with:</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>THE MOST RELAXING SOUNDS OF SILENCE... </b><i><b>EVERRRRR!!!</b></i></span> </div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">That's right, put on our patented noise-canceling headphones–complete with the side mounted Coh-Zee™</span> Valium dispenser<span style="font-size: small;">–and you can relax to the un-sounds of...</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">-Padded Room!</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">-Awkward Conversational Pause!</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">-Mob-Enforced Zipped Lips On Pain Of Torture! </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">-Being Buried 39 Feet Underground!</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">All available on</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>THE MOST RELAXING SOUNDS OF SILENCE... </b><i><b>EVERRRRR!!!</b></i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b> </b></span></span> </div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">But that's not all! Act now and you'll also receive an additional CD featuring such relaxing silences as...</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">-Stranded On An Ice Floe!</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">-Entombed In A Lost Atlantean Pyramid!</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">-Space!</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">and, the all-time favorite,</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">-Complete Lack Of Ears!</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXKnHqvCo1Hgin-NgOlApKVOUUTZXerzTt2uF0KE0XkQhwRAGz_8q3KYY9Kb2ZzsOyE0UhBIhS8rdztLrBYPaijnaeSo9ZV7QeP9jtQOQNtVI_BP6IasIRYqrj0qNNkz_udlT6qELbQms-/s1600/loud2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXKnHqvCo1Hgin-NgOlApKVOUUTZXerzTt2uF0KE0XkQhwRAGz_8q3KYY9Kb2ZzsOyE0UhBIhS8rdztLrBYPaijnaeSo9ZV7QeP9jtQOQNtVI_BP6IasIRYqrj0qNNkz_udlT6qELbQms-/s400/loud2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Your in-laws won't bother you, your daily tasks won't bother you, screaming babies won't get to you, piped-in music won't get to you</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;">–THE GATES OF HELL THEMSELVES COULD BE OPENED, ALLOWING THE WAILING OF TORTURED SOULS AND CACKLING DEMONS TO CONGREGATE IN YOUR LIVING ROOM</span></b><span style="font-size: small;"><b>–</b> </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">and still you'll be able to recline with a contented smile while listening to</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>THE MOST RELAXING SOUNDS OF SILENCE... </b><i><b>EVERRRRR!!!</b></i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Call 1-900-QUIET-NOW to Order! </span> </b></span></span></i><span style="font-size: small;">(Not available in Canada.)</span><i><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></b></span></i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div>Da Natorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12192516325402230720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1166773922852601177.post-2143574345125270692010-12-17T07:30:00.000-08:002010-12-17T07:30:50.757-08:00Christmas in New YorkYou know when you see someone slumped over on the subway, and you can't tell if they're asleep, passed out or dead? And all the other passengers are furtively looking around like "I'm not going to check him, YOU check him," because nobody wants to get projectile vomited on or touch a dead guy? Or worse, they're thinking "I need to get somewhere, I don't have the time to stop to report some dead guy and talk to the cops about it," or "thanks a lot for taking up two seats, stupid dead guy." What do you do?<br />
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Well, happy holidays, y'all.Da Natorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12192516325402230720noreply@blogger.com0